Tales from the bearded Dirk. #Thebeardeddirk
In the offseason I grow a beard. It’s not going to win me the World Series, but it’s also not going to get me back-roomed by Rogers and told I need to shave.
I grow the beard in part because the off season is my time and I finally get to do some of the stuff I like to do. Cook, paint, write for fun, learn a skill, build something, and loads of other things.
The bearded Dirk experience is a mostly non-baseball related experience, which includes running a journal about things that are not baseball on Facebook. I’ll tag Bearded Dirk Entries with the one you saw above so you know that, if you are looking for just baseball, you can skip these.
Today I tried to make zucchini pancakes in a waffle Iron. It kinda worked. I mean, I got that grid shape I was going for which makes everything “cute” and “festive” (the quotes are because that’s what my wife calls them. But the waffle iron was borrowed and older than me. It doesn’t get really hot. The zucchini mash has so much water in it that the iron couldn’t crisp it all the way through. I think a George Foreman grill might work better but, oddly, I haven’t seen one of those around for a while. Even if I did I’m not sure I want to buy one. I had one in college and I think I got a teaspoon size serving of teflon in every meal.
I like to cook. I don’t like to make exotic, ornate recipes that Martha Stewart would do backflips over. I like to make healthy simple stuff, fast.
[Grate the zucchini (s) into a bowl. Squeeze the extra water out of the mash and pour out. Hit reaming mash with some Panko, an egg or two, salt, a little oil. Pan fry till crispy! Mix in a cup of parmesan for a real treat (added calories, though), serve with ketchup or salsa or sketti sauce or sour cream]
I make A LOT of soup around the house because you can make a whole pot of it and that covers a few meals for a few days. The rest of the stuff I can churn out in less than 20 minutes, and it’s all mostly vegan or organic or… I don’t know all the trendy names for healthy fad food, but it’s good for you, and I mean, (because my wife works with special needs children whose parents are really well versed in dietary issues) free of lots sketchy ingredients.
I work fast as a rule. I guess the thing about cooking to me is, I don’t want to spend a ton of time doing it because I can easily loose a few hours a day into prep, production, and clean-up. I have a philosophy on all skills: if you can’t do it in a quick and efficient manner when you want, you don’t really have a productive skill at your disposal, you have a hobby. I want to produce food for my family so my family can eat and get back to it—whatever “it” is. Not labor, create mess, eat, clean it up, go right back to planning another meal. So, yeah, I guess I’m trying to find ways to cook food quickly and the waffle iron is not the answer in this scenario.
This is all part of my goal to be this well rounded renaissance-y man (and maybe a personal medication for my absolute terror of becoming a father… that’s another subject). I want to be proficient in a lot of skills, widely spread across the spectrum of life. Yesterday I wired my first electrical outlet and installed by first light fixture. I didn’t kill myself or burn the house down or even singe my beard… so I guess I did okay on that one. So why is sewing so hard for me? I’ve been trying to learn another language for a while. That’s tough because I don’t have anyone around to speak it with. I’m teaching myself computer code (I know HTML decently, but want to program apps). I also want to brew beer so I can be drunk while I do this… actually, that may explain the sewing fail.
Speaking of efficiency, I’ve been really into hydroponics and aquaponics lately. My dream is to own a large enough chunk of land (I have a .024 acre lot… with no sunshine… how the hell do I live in Ohio and not have room to grow something? it’s a flat, rolling, boredom factory here… ) that I can farm talapia that, in turn, feeds my hydroponic garden. I’m already up to speed on the plumbing needs. I’ve figured out how to do the Arduino automation. I have my horticulture websites bookmarked. I just need the spread. Then I grow and cook my own organic goods. Maybe I’ll even grow some hops… Wouldn’t that be awesome? Fish, Veggies, Beer?
That’s it, I’m moving…. Excuse me I have to go list my house now.