It’s exciting signing baseballs for fans the first time. It makes you feel like a thoroughbred all-star, the kind you always envisioned yourself being back before you inked your contract. Besides, a few scribbles can make the long bus trips and the crap food blues disappear because, after all, it’s not just anyone’s special mark going on those overpriced gift shop purchases—it’s yours.
You can, and will, sign everything in creation if your career last’s long enough. However, there is only one thing you should concern yourself about the signing of while in the minors, and that is a simple baseball.
When asked to sign a baseball, there is one space you should never put your mark unless specifically asked to do so, aka, “the sweet spot.”
The sweet spot is that little blank groove between the two seams you would grip to throw your nasty two-seam fastball— the one you tell all your friends is the reason you got drafted. There are two such locations on a ball, and if you haven’t figured it out, the sweetest sweet spot is the one without writing informing you which level of bush league ball you currently reside in. Signing there is a no-no and could get you murdered by your manager because that is their turf.
Most likely your manager is a nice fellow, and will inform you of your error in a gentle way, but some are miserable bastards that didn’t make it to the Show and got into to coaching because it was either coach or face a world where they had to rely on their brain for something other than bunt, steal, and sacrifice. This honor means a lot to that type of manager so don’t screw it up or he’ll hunt you down and exact his revenge.
If you play good enough, you’ll get to sign all the sweet spots you’ve ever wanted. Until then, settle for wedging your name in anywhere you can fit it.