I had the pleasure of flying through the Cleveland airport the other day. I say pleasure because the place has been efficiently renovated and brought up to date with other icon city airports, complete with stylish nods to what makes Cleveland, Cleveland. There is now a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame store, a few nice bars that feature Great Lakes Brewing Company brews, and clean, spacious bathrooms you’ll savor crapping in. However, the main detail that reminds you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are indeed in Cleveland Ohio is the giant poster slamming Lebron James.
I know I’m going to catch hell for writing this because once you’re in the public eye, if you say something overly critical one way or the other, you get a good ripping for your view points. I’m also a resident of the greater Cleveland area, so I know this will make a few local readers hot, but I’ll risk it. I just have to say it: gosh darn it, Cleveland, I’m disappointed in your behavior lately.
Hey now, put down the pitchforks and torches and hear me out. Yeah, what King James did was dumb. Real dumb. A media event to make yourself look the sports equivalent of the Pope is uber egotistical. There were a lot of other ways he could have done what he did that wouldn’t have hurt like it has, or made him look like the world’s biggest pop icon jackass. But, I have to ask, hasn’t the whole event made us at least shake our heads at the realization of our own ridiculous obsession with sports and the figures that populate them? I mean, it was us who made a guy who shoots free throws and peddles sneakers into a golden calf, after all. Then, as if to concretize this point, after he leaves we put up a billboard on highway 480 that reads, “King James Who?” —God. Is this guy really that big of a deal that we should put billboards up stating God’s opinion on his behavior?
I’ve heard the arguments about what LBJ promised us, that he was going to bring us a championship and he didn’t. Of course, it sounds a lot more angry than a simply he didn’t, it sounds more like, “that bastard lied! HE LIED TO US!” Yes, he lied, and then he left town, practically forcing us to get wasted and have jersey-burning parties to protests what a horrible role model he is for our kids? What a minute…
Listen, as an athlete I can tell you one thing for certain, never believe an athlete who says he promises you a championship. It’s just not something you can promise. It’s something you can boast, and that’s exactly what that kind of talk is—boasting. It makes you feel good, it makes you feel confident that the stuff you are buying with his name on it is justified. It makes retailers very happy, but in the end it’s just not something you can guarantee. It undermines the entire concept of sport. If your heart is broken because you feel like he broke a promise to give you a championship, suck it up. You’re better that that, especially here in Cleveland where we’ve had more then our fair share of let down. Lebron is not the first to break a championship promise, and he wont me the last. I promise.
Finally, there’s the fact that the businesses around Cleveland have lost out because of Lebron’s departure. I can’t deny that. I offer my sincerest apologies to your loss, especially in this tough economy. I know athletes mean a lot to area business, and when they go, sales go with them. However, we knew this would be a possibility years ago, didn’t we? We knew that after four years our beloved golden goose would be courted by all manner of potential suitors who had better weather, warmer beaches, and bigger venues. The chances of a young, ego mongering attention seeker leaving our town for greener, ego-stroking pastures were always high, even before he had a television special to announce it. Let’s be thankful for the lucrative years, retool, and move forward because, frankly, we don’t need him.
Or, I guess, if it suits you, you can continue making a few bucks off the wound by supplying extra combustible jerseys, sarcastic billboards, and poisoned tipped souvenirs to throw at a certain returning basketball celeb. But, let me say, before you tar and feather me in the comment box, that if we keep taking the angry road, Cleveland will always be marked by a petty hate for one man, and no man is worth this much time and effort. We’re better then this. Really, we are. In so many ways this is like a bad break up and to keep carrying on like scorned tweenagers is saying to the world that we’re not over him, that he still has the power to control us, and that we’ll never meet another player someday and have that fairy tale wedding… or championship. Besides, the real trouble in our town is much deeper than Lebron, and if we focused as much time and effort on eradicating corruption, rejuvenating schools, and encouraging sustainable economic growth as we did making sure a basketball celebrity knew we were still upset, his departure wouldn’t even be a blip on our radar.