The Garfookie Contest!

The Garfookie Contest!

Back by popular demand—and/or boredom—is the great, international Garfookie contest!!!! What is a Garfookie, you ask? Why, it’s a Christmas cookie (or similarly baked good) identical in shape and form to a real Garfoose. Caution: baking something as terrifying as a...

Xylo Diaries. Doggie Grandparents

  “He’s got a head like a damn anteater,” says my dad, pressing a thick hand down on Xylo’s long, narrow, snout— currently needling him in the crotch. “Are they supposed to have heads like this?” Asks my concerned mother, who has not stopped inspecting Xylo since...

The Xylo Diaries. Stairs #EpicWin

I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m not keen on sappy doggy videos on the Youtube. I hate pulling up ridiculous picture collage set to an Evanescence song. Gee, look, a dog in a pool, here is one sleeping on a couch with his legs sticking up, now one looking...

The Xylo Diaries. Treats and Stairs

Xylo stands there, staring out the window like he’s a watchdog. I guess he is, just not in the way you’re thinking. He’s a sight hound, so he likes to stare at stuff—blowing leaves, the neighbor’s cat, rodents with bushy tails. Just stares at them, like Medusa though...

The Xylo Diaries. Taking Him Home

  “If he doesn’t run right up and jump in on the first go, it usually means you’re going to have to lift him up and stuff him in,” said the lady at the rescue as she hoisted up my dog’s bare rear parts and crammed him in my vehicle. Xylo is about 84 pounds...