So I’m not playing ball right now, and I’m fine with that.
I don’t miss it. Maybe I will later when the scent of fresh cut grass and hot dogs and Latin player pre game cologne catches my nose again, but I doubt it.
Don’t ask me what’s next. What I do know, I can’t talk to you about, and what I don’t know isn’t worth waxing philosophic over. I’ll just say that I expect Matt Moore to pitch the hell out of it this year and Bobby V to be fired by August 1st. Beyond that, I don’t even know what I’ll have for dinner tomorrow.
And I like it this way. You know I sat in the park today? Just sat there, because I could, purely for the sake of sitting there. As Anto might say, it was friggin awesome. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends the last couple years, trying to pump out books and strikes in equal measure, hoping my arm and sanity hold together long enough to make it to September. I really haven’t had time to stop and smell the roses. It’s nice to slow down, take things in, and just not know what’s next.
People pity me when they hear I’m not with a team. I ask them why? Why? Well, because surely you’re suffering from some existential crisis now that you’re without a field to run around on, or a mound to throw off of! It’s not like that. This isn’t a logical answer to that supposition, but it’s the only one I have: I sat in the park today.
I just sat there for the sake of siting there, reading a book, uninterrupted, from start to finish.
I also rode my bike to the grocery store and picked out dinner. I cooked it in my own kitchen. I spent time with my dog. I snuggled with my wife. I picked up my guitar and slaughtered the opened tabs of Tom Sawyer (I love you Geddy!). I lived life without baseball and it wasn’t half bad. In fact, it was pretty damn good. I think I’ll do it again tomorrow.
Oh, and I wrote. Freer than I’ve done since I started penning out the Bullpen Gospels, and I savored it just like I did that day in the park before the last game of the Texas League championship when I discovered the point of playing wasn’t to catch the experience, but to enjoy it will the lasted.
I have.