That’s right, I said it. And whats more, I mean it.
I’m not a Scrooge, and I’m not a Grinch. I’m just a regular human being who has taken the time to stop and give a hard look to this ever building but never satisfying mutant of a holiday commonly referred to as the modern Christmas. Scarcity appeals in all our advertising, sales wrapped in sentiment that’s shoved down our throat, music that gets played until you could vomit, and pressure to deliver that perfect gift, feeling, or experience. It’s not the most wonderful time of the year, its the time of the year when expectations run high, tempers run hot, and budgets run thin.
You might be outraged at the verbiage I’m using concerning the most sacred of American capitalist holidays. Maybe you’re already putting together a heated comment to place under this rant, but cool your jets Turbo and hear me out. I grew up in a family where we gifted each other with all expense paid trips to the hospital courtesy of our jolly friend, Mr. Alcoholic. The grandparents threatened to cut us off if we didn’t make two trips over the hills and through the woods to eat foot no one liked, while getting told we’re going to burn in hell for going to a different church than they. Parents lost their jobs just in time to have that fun parent child conversation of, “I don’t want to disappoint you, but Christmas is going to be smaller this year.” And then there is the out of state relatives… what if you don’t like your relatives? Why the sudden seasonal insistence on packing a bunch of people that don’t really like to be around each other into tight spaces? Merry Christams, more like merry-excercise-restraint-because-they’re-only-here-for-a-few-days-mas. Ho-ho-handcuffs. While everyone else is trimming the tree, my family is battening down the windows like a hurricane is headed our way. The new year can’t get here fast enough!
People say I’m missing the point, that I should be of good cheer and saddle up on the couch and watch all the classic movies that make this time of year so nostalgic for the sedentary. People say it’s about giving, and caring, and loving, and not writing blogs titled “I Hate Christmas.” Yeah, well, cry me a river, hippi. Listen folks, if you ask me, the Christmas sentiment is like a cool underground band. I’m a fan of it, I really am. I love it in fact. I love the purity and spartan nature of it, how it has a rather rebellious love that doesn’t compromise. How it has a deep, layered soul that makes me feel good inside. I listen to it all year round because I think it’s got the best sound around and I’m proud of it. Then, the holidays show up and it’s as if my little band sold out. Suddenly it’s out there all over the place, lending itself to every marketing campaign that throws a buck it’s way. People I can’t stand are walking down the street wearing it’s T-shirt, asking me, “Hey man, you ever heard of this band, they’re awesome, they make me feel like Lady Gaga mixed with Elton John. I love the fact they’re all about buying people stuff, because I am so about that myself! It’s like this band was made for me!” The radio is saturated with my once beloved sentiment, but now I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t listen. This is not my band this is something else completely!
Okay, Okay, enough. You’re right. Have fun with the holidays.*Deep breath* Really, I wish you all the best. No, make that the absolute best. I hope you get everything you want and more. But, if you want to make me happy, do me a favor. Remember that this is not about celebrating a time of year so much as it is about celebrating a way of living. It’s bigger than the money you spend or the expectations you hold. The important parts of Christmas are what it means A) in regards to the birth of our savoir, Jesus Christ, and how he asked us to live. Or, if that’s not a beleif you share with me, at the very least B) a way of living that is charitable, giving, and even sacrificial for those in need. These things are not seasonal fruits; they’re ripe all year round. We don’t need Christmas songs to stir up decent humane behavior, do we? We’re the richest, most powerful country on earth, haven’t we gotten everything we could ask for already?
I’m preaching now. It’s my blog, so I’m allowed, but I’ll stop anyway because I need your readership. From all of us here at the Hayhurst house, to all of you out there in the blogosphere, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Leave a plate of baseballs out next to the Chimney for the Garfoose. Rumor has it he’s pulling the sleigh this year because Rudolph’s cocaine habit finally took him over the edge.
God Bless.
*Update* I just wanted to add one last thing. You know, this can be a really tough time of the year for a lot of folks. Many are more down and out this time of the season that any other, and I wanted to say I feel for ya if you’re in that situation. All the extra emphasis on feeling wonderful just makes it worse, doesn’t it? If you’re in that boat, just know it’s alright and there are people out there, all over the world, that know exactly what you’re talking about it (they wrote me mere seconds after this blog went up!). Sometimes the best thing about the holidays is when they end. Don’t worry, they will, and so will that heavy feeling on your heart. Hang in there.