12
JAN
2017

Adoption Quest, 10. The Newlyweds

My grandfather is getting married Saturday. He’s 89. I’ve not met the woman. I know her name, Barbara, but I don’t know her. My mom’s spent all of 4 hours with her. Some of my mom’s siblings have not met her. She’s got kids and her kids have kids, but we’ve not met any of them,...
05
JAN
2017

Adoption Quest, 8. The Baseline

“It’s okay. The baseline is rejection, right?” Says Bonnie, updating me on the latest adoption “scenario” result. The baseline is rejection. God—so much of life summed up in one phrase. Bonnie got the email that morning. New mom, just had the baby. No plan. Looking for adoptive...
04
JAN
2017

Adoption Quest, 7. The if and Whens

2017 and still no baby. Bonnie and I have been matched with mothers 7 times now, nothing has panned out. Sucks, but there it is The holidays were a trial. Christmas is for kids to get presents and for adults to practice their conflict management skills. It’s  about family. Family...
03
AUG
2016

Adoption Quest, 6. The Wrong Kind of Honest.

White shirts or blue Shirts? Or black shirts? Black turtlenecks like Steve Jobs—American legend, innovator, and insanely rich white guy. Wait. Steve Jobs or Bruce Springsteen? Successful or relatable? Wrap your arms around these engines or get your thumbs on this touch screen?...
22
JUL
2016

Adoption Quest, 4. The Unforgivable.

Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Pounding in the back of my head. Tick-tock, Dirk. Tick-tock. Kids, Dirk. Tick tock Dirk. Tick-tock. Kids. Kids, Dirk, kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. When Bonnie and I started trying, everything started being measured in...
21
JUL
2016

Adoption Quest, 3. No Diving In The Gene Pool

When I was in high school, I dated a sweet, shy, super smart redheaded girl for the bulk of my time there. I took her to two proms, gave her bales of flowers, and supplied her with enough chocolate to jumpstart diabetes. I thought I was going to marry her. In fairness, I thought...
19
JUL
2016

Adoption Quest, 1. Going For It

Bonnie and I are adopting. We don’t have a baby lined up. We’re not even on a waiting list yet. We are, however, several home visits and thousands of dollars into the process, and I want to tell you right now, honest and unashamed, that so far I frigging hate the...
17
NOV
2014

K&S – Hair Twirling Nightmare

Kicking and Screaming: Tales from my losing battle with Fatherhood.  K&S Pt 3   I haven’t been completely honest with you. No, not about not wanting kids. That I’ve been completely honest with you about. I don’t want kids with the same intensity that a soldier in a...
13
NOV
2014

Kicking and Screaming – Mother Munchkin

  Kicking and Screaming: My losing batter with Fatherhood.  Pt 2. Mother Munchkin.    When Mother Munchkin showed up to drop the child off with us, she did so in a frazzled furry. She was late for work, which she moaned about the need to keep doing now that she was a...
12
NOV
2014

Kicking and Screaming

Kicking and Screaming: Losing the battle with Fatherhood.   What I’m about to tell you involves hormones and women and life goals and parents and sex and money and assholes, and if you keep reading you’re probably going to be offended. If you’re one of those people who...
12