12
JAN
2017

Adoption Quest, 10. The Newlyweds

My grandfather is getting married Saturday. He’s 89. I’ve not met the woman. I know her name, Barbara, but I don’t know her. My mom’s spent all of 4 hours with her. Some of my mom’s siblings have not met her. She’s got kids and her kids have kids, but we’ve not met any of them,...
09
JAN
2017

Adoption Quest, 9. The Advantage

Bon and I moved recently. A short trip. The next town over. Uncle Rico could throw a football and hit it. They say it’s a downgrade for us. Lower quality school district from that whence we came. Bigger house, but dated. Lower taxes and bigger yard, but fewer white collar folk....
05
JAN
2017

Adoption Quest, 8. The Baseline

“It’s okay. The baseline is rejection, right?” Says Bonnie, updating me on the latest adoption “scenario” result. The baseline is rejection. God—so much of life summed up in one phrase. Bonnie got the email that morning. New mom, just had the baby. No plan. Looking for adoptive...
04
JAN
2017

Adoption Quest, 7. The if and Whens

2017 and still no baby. Bonnie and I have been matched with mothers 7 times now, nothing has panned out. Sucks, but there it is The holidays were a trial. Christmas is for kids to get presents and for adults to practice their conflict management skills. It’s  about family. Family...
25
JUL
2016

Adoption Quest, 5. Horrible Little Checkboxes.

“We’re trying.” I shudder to think how many conversations that phrase hijacked over the last few years. We’re trying: Two words that trumpet a baby is on the way. Two hopeful words that I never really understood when I first let them fly, but now know like...
22
JUL
2016

Adoption Quest, 4. The Unforgivable.

Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Pounding in the back of my head. Tick-tock, Dirk. Tick-tock. Kids, Dirk. Tick tock Dirk. Tick-tock. Kids. Kids, Dirk, kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids. When Bonnie and I started trying, everything started being measured in...
21
JUL
2016

Adoption Quest, 3. No Diving In The Gene Pool

When I was in high school, I dated a sweet, shy, super smart redheaded girl for the bulk of my time there. I took her to two proms, gave her bales of flowers, and supplied her with enough chocolate to jumpstart diabetes. I thought I was going to marry her. In fairness, I thought...
20
JUL
2016

Adoption Quest, 2. Choosing Adoption.

  I waited 28 years to have sex. 28 frustrating years. And ereey weren’t easy years, just so you know. I didn’t hang with only monks or go through life without knowing what woman was. It was the standard stuff, all those years of typical teenage hormones where...
13
NOV
2014

Kicking and Screaming – Mother Munchkin

  Kicking and Screaming: My losing batter with Fatherhood.  Pt 2. Mother Munchkin.    When Mother Munchkin showed up to drop the child off with us, she did so in a frazzled furry. She was late for work, which she moaned about the need to keep doing now that she was a...
12
NOV
2014

Kicking and Screaming

Kicking and Screaming: Losing the battle with Fatherhood.   What I’m about to tell you involves hormones and women and life goals and parents and sex and money and assholes, and if you keep reading you’re probably going to be offended. If you’re one of those people who...